Why am I doing this to myself? It has been almost a month since me and Oscar broke up and I am still not over it. I seriously need to move on. And I keep hurting myself, because everything that he touched or was near, reminds me of him. Like my bed when he came over to go to my moms house, he sat on it, and it reminds me. The couch at my moms house, we laid on that together, the bed at my moms house, we slept together there...(and i mean slept you dirty pervert)...my dining room table we sat there and played on my laptop and made out for a little bit...god damn and i beat myself up everyday and i always think...what could i have done to prevent it? i happened to be looking through some of my old emails from him...and i found one of the poems that he wrote me...here it is....

Before I went to sleep tonight
I just had to let you know,
that my love for you is strong
and will always continue to grow.

Before I went to bed tonight
I thought that you should hear
That every moment we spent together,
I hold so very dear.

Before I went to bed tonight
I had you on my mind.
I thought of things you've done for me,
Things from a heart so kind.

I hope this letter makes you happy,
If only for a while
But I'd gladly write a million
Just to see you smile!

I know this sounds crazy,
Just like I lost my head.
But I had to let you know,
Before I went to bed.

Well I still haven't put down my poem for him yet, but it should be on within the next day...Hell I might even do it after this journal

Bye.